GFA18 - North American Familiars

My very last entry in the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac was a reprint and update of something I wrote earlier that's fallen out of print now. One nice thing about putting this up on my blog is that I can add in the hyperlinks to the other settings I mention in the introductory essay.

My writing on this piece was edited by Cory Gahsman. That fantastic art piece is by Carmin Vance, and I just love the detail he put into it, especially the behavior of the cat familiars, the wanted poster, and the way the possum familiar's potion looks like a little jug of moonshine.

Because I waited so long to post this, the call for submissions for the 2019 GFA has gone out! It won't be organized on Google Plus as it was in years past, but it's found a new home (actually several new homes) on MeWe, on the Goodman Games discussion boards, and on its very own website! (Click that Participate tab at the top to volunteer!) Writing submission are due by May 1st, art submission by June 1st, and they could always use volunteers to help with editing, layout, publishing and coordination. 
 

Image by Carmin Vance

 
When a wizard in a North American setting casts find familiar, they don't summon one of the entities from the DCC core rules. Instead, they summon a familiar spirit from the local territories. Lawful familiars in North America mostly take the guise of domesticated animals and animals that form civilized communities. Neutral familiars mostly appear as wild animals whose very existence symbolizes the frontier in the minds of city-dwellers. Chaotic familiars dress themselves in the guise of pests, vermin, and decay.

These familiars are usable in any DCC campaign that takes place in a North American setting, whether it's the Dark Territories and town of Brimstone from Carl Bussler and Eric Hoffman's Black Powder Black Magic, the Shudder Mountains from Michael Curtis' The Chained Coffin, the Trails of David Baity's Dark Trails, Our World from Diogo Nogueira's Lost World setting, the Crawling Revolution led by James Walls' Revolutionary Crawl Classics occupations, the Esoteric America watched over by Michael Curtis' Secret Antiquities patrons, or any similar locale.

As in the DCC core rules, if the familiar has an ability and no modifier is listed, the wizard gains a +4 bonus to use that ability. I imagine fey familiars as being child-sized or waist-height, but looking so elfin and otherworldly that they'd never be mistaken for a human child.

North American familiars are an itinerant sort. At the judge's discretion, either at the beginning of each session, or each time the wizard gains a level, their previous familiar departs and a new one comes to take its place. This could be the original spirit taking on a new physical configuration, wanderlust causing one spirit to move on and another to replace it, or a regular shift-change between punch-clock geists. The wizard enjoys a different master's benefit each time their familiar changes (besides, what fun is a table with 72 entries if you only get to see one of them?)


LAWFUL FAMILIARS
Familiar Physical Configuration (and Master's Benefit)

1     White cat (move very silently)

2     Hound dog (all followers, retainers, etc. receive +2 to morale checks)

3     Miniature horse ('spooked' feeling warns caster of surprises and ambushes)

4     Miniature long-horned steer (+2 hit points)

5     Miniature blue ox (+1 Stamina)

6     Prairie dog (excellent hearing)

7     Groundhog (caster knows upcoming weather each morning)

8     Beaver (swim speed 20')

9     Yellow miner's canary (supernatural ability to detect traps and hazards)

10    Pigeon (caster can 'home in' on route out of dungeon or back to town)

11    Cock rooster (loud, commanding voice)

12    Barn owl (ability to see at night as well as during day)

13    Red-tailed hawk (excellent vision)

14    Bald eagle (excellent vision)

15    Giant ant (+1 to all attempts at ESP, scrying, etc)

16    Giant honey bee (melee attack deals poison: DC 12 Fort save or temporary loss of 1 Strength)

17    Child-sized scarecrow (opponents are -2 to morale checks)

18    Miniature covered wagon (once per day, the caster can ‘find’ a single low-cost mundane item in their pack)

19    Miniature train engine (movement 40')

20    Fey school-teacher wearing glasses and elbow-patched tweed jacket, never speaks, communicates using writing slate (caster can attempt to read any unknown language as lawful thief of the same level)

21    Fey Catholic priest, dressed in black robe with white collar (one of caster's known spells is replaced by a random cleric spell)

22    Fey soldier in blue-coat US Army uniform (caster is proficient with all weapons)

23    Mysterious fey figure dressed in gunfighter's outfit, mouth covered by bandana, never speaks (+1 to initiative and to all missile attacks)

24    Tiny feather-winged angel wearing white robe, face identical to caster's, speaks up whenever caster is tempted to disobey interests of patron (+1 to saving throws versus chaotic magic and supernatural effects)


NEUTRAL FAMILIARS
Familiar Physical Configuration (and Master's Benefit)

1     Gray cat (move very silently)

2     Possum (+1 to recovering the body checks for caster and familiar)

3     Badger (+1 melee damage)

4     Miniature stag deer (+1 Personality)

5     Miniature bison (+1 AC)

6     Gray Wolf (extraordinary sense of smell)

7     Miniature mountain lion (+1 Strength)

8     Miniature grizzly bear (+1 to melee attacks and melee damage)

9     Toad (ability to hold breath underwater for 20 minutes)

10    Gecko lizard (climb speed 10')

11    Desert tortoise (+2 AC, movement 20')

12    Armadillo (caster is proficient with shields, suffers no spellcheck penalty from carrying a shield, can shield-bash as a dwarf)

13    Mockingbird (caster is able to speak 1 additional random language)

14    Whip-poor-will (beautiful, haunting singing voice)

15    Crow (uncanny ability to detect gemstones and shiny objects)

16    Wild turkey (excellent at hiding in forest)

17    Giant grasshopper (once per day, caster can leap 10' vertically or 20' horizontally)

18    Will-o-the-wisp (familiar acts as candle-light in darkness)

19    Tumbleweed (caster can withdraw from melee combat without opening themselves to a free attack)

20    Fey wilderness scout, dressed in leather suit and racoon cap (uncanny ability to find paths and know direction)

21    Fey woodcutter wearing plaid shirt, carrying axe (+1 to attack and damage against plants and fungi)

22    Fey card-sharp, dressed in gambler's finery, carries tarot deck (+2 Luck that restores each night if used, similar to a thief's recovery of Luck)

23    Dust-devil cyclone (once per day, after hitting their first opponent in combat, the caster can continue making attacks against new opponents using the same weapon and action die, until missing an attack or running out of opponents)

24    Tiny elemental (+1 to all saves and checks related to that element. Roll 1d10 to determine element: (1) earth; (2) air; (3) fire; (4) water; (5) dust; (6) fog; (7) ice; (8) lightning; (9) mud; (10) exotic element such as gold, silver, gemstones, demon ore, etc.)


CHAOTIC FAMILIARS
Familiar Physical Configuration (and Master's Benefit)

1     Black cat (twice per session, impose -1 penalty on opponent's roll)

2     Raccoon (ability to pick pockets as a chaotic thief of same level)

3     Weasel (supernatural ability to squeeze into tight places)

4     Porcupine (anyone grappling or dealing melee damage to caster takes 1 damage from quills)

5     Polecat skunk (immune to nausea and stench)

6     Coyote (+1 Agility)

7     Tiny python (extraordinary sense of smell)

8     Tiny rattlesnake (melee bite attack deals poison: DC 16 Fort save or temporary loss of 1d6 Stamina)

9     Miniature alligator (successful melee attack grapples opponent, automatically deals 1d6 damage per subsequent round)

10    Bat (excellent hearing)

11    Miniature buzzard vulture (caster is able to safely eat rotten or spoiled food)

12    Black swan (once per day, caster can reroll any natural 7, and once per day, caster can reroll any natural 13)

13    Giant millipede (climb speed 10')

14    Giant maggot, transforms into giant black housefly during combat (‘skin crawling’ feeling alerts caster to presence of disguises and shapeshifters)

15    Tarantula spider (melee attack deals poison: DC Fort save or temporary loss of 1 Agility)

16    Giant mosquito (bite attack deals 1d4 damage and heals wizard of 1 hit point)

17    Tiny black scorpion (+2 to Fort saves versus poison)

18    Miniature skeletal horse (+1 to all attempts at planar communication or travel)

19    Miniature black stagecoach with large glass windows revealing casket inside (+1 AC and +1 saving throws versus undead)

20    Beautiful fey saloon dancer with skin flayed from her back, dressed in can-can outfit (+2 Personality)

21    Fey tattooed lady, dressed in bathing suit, covered in ink showing Patron's motif (+1 to spellcheck of random spell)

22    Fey hanged man (grants an extra life - the first time caster dies, the familiar dies instead, and caster is restored to full hit points, less the consequence of familiar dying)

23    Child-sized human skeleton (+1 damage to undead and +1 damage from necromancy)

24    Tiny bat-winged red devil, face identical to caster's, speaks up whenever opportunity arises to tempt caster to advance Patron's interests (+1 to all saving throws versus Lawful magic and supernatural effects)


Note: Most of the entries above originally appeared in the article "Familiars of the Dark Territories" in Black Powder, Black Magic, volume 4. Lawful entries 7, 10, 17, and 20, Neutral entres 12, 13, 19, and 21, and Chaotic entries 12, 14, 16, and 19 originally appeared in the post "Pseudo-Preview of BPBM4" on the DIY & Dragons blog.

GFA18 - Mountain Lion Magic Items

Okay, so actually the FINAL final mountain lion entry for the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac is a pair of mountain-lion themed magic items. I almost forgot I wrote this! My Black Powder Black Magic campaign needs a fair number of magic items, because characters can find demon ore, and trade it for magic items, which means the campaign NEEDS magic items for the characters to acquire. (Ideally, characters should have to "quest for it" rather than just trading in the ore like it's currency, and long term, I should possibly think about some kind of rule for "retiring" items that have been used long enough, but those are concerns for different posts.)
     
So the story behind both these items is that I watched the Lego Batman movie, and Catwoman has like one line in the whole movie, where she's helping a gang of villains break into a building, and we see her on the comms, and she's like "Meow-meow, we're in, meow-meow!" It's practically a throw-away line, but I loved the idea of her bookending all her sentences that way. So then I watched Black Panther, and the little sister Shuri has these cat-faced gauntlets that fire vibrating soundwaves as a weapon. And in my head, every time she fires these things, she says "meow-meow, meow-meow!" (Next time you watch Black Panther, try adding that sound-effect yourself. It's delightful!)
  
So the first item is pretty much just Shuri's gauntlets, and the second is a variation on the same idea, which arises out of the first. (It also lets you play at being Lego Catwoman, the same way the first one lets you play at being Shuri.) Plus, I don't know, in addition to the fun of getting my players to say "meow-meow" to use their magic item, I kind of like the idea that a magic item might have a command word that the players have to know and say. The presence of a "magic word" has a certain fariy-tale-ness to it that I like, and having the player say the magic word is sort of an immersive role-playing element. Outside of a situation like this, I would probably pick magic words like "abracadabra", "alakazam", "hocus pocus", and "open sesame". 
  
Danny Prescott edited this article, and the others in the series, and he was a big help in making sure that my physical descriptions evoked the right mental image and that my instructions were clear and easy to understand.
  
    
Gauntlets of the wailing mountain lion: These metal forearm-guards are made of the same vibrating material as a tuning fork or xylophone bar. The gauntlets seem to hum or purr constantly, sounding a musical note when struck against each other or used in combat. Each guard is carved to look like a mountain lion, tail wrapped around the wearer's forearms, haunches gripping the wrist, and the lion’s chin resting on the knuckles.
  
The gauntlets grant +1 AC and allow the wearer to make an unarmed punch for 1d4 damage, but prevent wielding another weapon in combat. They are ideally paired for two-weapon fighting. At least once per day the wearer can invoke the mouths to fire a soundwave at a target as a ranged attack for 1d14 damage by saying magical phrase "myow-myow," and the player has to say it out loud.
  
Spellcasters can use this power a number of times per day equal to the highest spell-level they can cast. If the wearer uses two-weapon fighting to fire two soundwaves at once, this counts as only a single use of the gauntlets.
  

  
Gloves of the were-lion thief: These coal black mouse-leather gloves have weighted knuckles. The leather on the back of the wrists and hands is worked to look like a cat preparing to pounce - tail curled above the wrist, haunches perched on the hand, chin and forepaws gripping the knuckles.
  
If worn by a non-thief these gloves allow the wearer to make an unarmed attack like a blackjack (1d3 subdual damage) with an additional +1 to hit and +1 damage, and once a day, the wearer can say the magic phrase "myow-myow" to use any one thief skill using a d24 skill die.
  
If worn by a trained thief they function as above, however the thief may instead say the magic word to roll a d24 skill die thrice per day, and if the thief uses this power while backstabbing the attack deals lethal instead of subdual damage with the automatic crit rolled on the monster crit table. When invoked, the player has to say the magic phrase out loud. Thieves who use this power more than once per day must use it for a different skill each time.

  

GFA18 - Were Cougar

The last entry in my series of mountain lion variations for the 2018 Gongfarmer's Alamanc is the were-cougar. Traditionally, the ability to shapeshift between human and feline forms is associated with the wampus cat, but I thought it was an interesting enough ability to stand alone. For roleplaying monsters, I think it may be better to have just one really stand-out ability, and for the wampus cougar, that was already the mourner's wail, and the were-cougar was born. 
   
She's the only mountain lion with a real alignment, and I thought giving her a demon's crit sort of fit well with her supernatural aspect. While I wanted her to shapeshift often so the players could see it (well, or at least imagine seeing it) I didn't want that to create any kind of confusion involving a second stat-block. So she has one stat-block, one hit-point total, and her shapeshifting is basically cosmetic, which is fine with me. I added the coin-toss to make her shifting random. I didn't want it to happen every round, but I thought it might be harder to remember instructions like "every third round."

   
The association of the word "cougar" with older women who want to date younger men led me to the idea of the lover's wail. I probably wouldn't have thought of that if I'd chosen a different cat, but I'm glad I did. It reminds me of some of the early D&D monsters who kidnapped party members by making them fall in love. That's the worst-case outcome here, but a normal failure just means that you'll spend all your downtime with your new cougar-wife, and if you're lucky, she'll actually join your party as an NPC ally. Danny Prescott edited this entire series.
 
   
Were-cougar: Init +3; Atk claw +3 melee (1d4+1) or bite +4 melee (1d6+2) or wail (special); AC 13; HD 3d10; MV 40' or climb 20'; Act 1d20; SP shapeshifter, pounce, lover's wail; SV Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +4; AL C; Crit DN/d4.
  
A were-cougar is a shapeshifter with two forms. In her human form she appears as a woman on the cusp of old age wearing simple local dress. She seems feisty and self-reliant. In her lion form, she has a slightly demonic air, pointier ears, shaggier fur, sharper claws (she uses identical statistics regardless of form).
  
A were-cougar is the implacable enemy of the nearest town, and may treat PCs as allies if they are outcasts there. She collects husbands and has a harem of 1d8 local men in her den at all times. She is not particularly jealous, and allows her men to take second wives, so long as she retains their primary loyalty. There is a 50% chance the were-cougar is first encounter her in lion form.
  
If a were-cougar makes the first attack of combat she will use her lover's wail; otherwise she attacks normally. Thereafter, she will alternate attacks between claw, bite and wail, pouncing when possible. Each round she doesn't pounce flip a coin; if heads she uses her move to shift between her human and cougar forms. A were-cougar prefers to use her claw and bite attacks against female opponents and against males who pass their Luck check against her wail. If every living male opponent has been affected by her wail she will return to her den and any new husbands will follow.
  
Shapeshifter: A were-cougar takes half damage from ordinary weapons. She counts as unholy for lawful clerics. The were-cougar can shift between her human and cougar forms as a move action.
  
Pounce: A were-cougar can pounce to gain an extra d20 attack die and attack with any two attack options, i.e. claw and bite, bite and wail, or wail and claw. The were-cougar can only pounce if she surprises its victims, attacks first due to initiative, or has taken no damage since her previous attack.
  
Lover's wail: A were-cougar sings a haunting, wordless song, like a lonely woman singing to her cat. A were-cougar's wail affects the male opponent with the highest Personality score who hasn't been affected yet today (in case of tie, she targets the opponent with the highest Luck score from among those with highest Personality). The affected target rolls a Luck check to see how he is affected.

• Half Luck score or lower - The were-cougar falls in love with the target and stops combat immediately. She will offer to marry the target and join the them as an NPC who mostly follows his instructions. She will follow him anywhere in order to live her life beside him.

• Luck score or lower - The were-cougar is the most beautiful woman the target ever saw, but he knows it is just not to be.

• Higher than Luck score - The target falls in love with the were-cougar and retires from combat while trying to talk his friends into stopping their attack. The target spends his downtime between adventures living with the were-cougar as her lover in her den. He refuses to go on journeys that would take him too far away from his lover.

• Higher than double Luck score - The target falls deeply in love with the were-cougar, and fights to the death to prevent anyone else from attacking her. The target retires from adventuring to marry the were-cougar and live with her forever in her den.

Demonic crit: A were-cougar rolls 1d4 on the demon crit table.

GFA18 - Wampus Cougar

The wampus cougar is my next-to-last mountain lion variation for the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac. It's physically the weakest mountain lion, but also the most deadly. The wampus cat (which originates in Cherokee myth, but was also adopted into American folklore as a fearsome critter) is supposed to have a voice that either kills or foretells death. It's also supposed to shapeshift into a woman, but I decided that for gaming purposes, it was more interesting to separate out that ability, resulting in the were-cougar. 
   
The various "wail" abilities I gave to the cactus, wampus, and were-cougars ended up being modeled on this one, which was in turn modeled on the folklore. I decided I wasn't quite willing to kill a character for failing a Luck check, but that I was totally willing to kill a character who rolled over double their Luck score. I also thought it would be fun if there was some reward for surviving really well. I initially thought about giving all the mountain lions their own wails, but ultimately decided it only fit with a few of them. Danny Prescott edited all the mountain lions, and provided art for this one.
 

Art by Danny Prescott 

 
Wampus cougar: Init +0; Atk claw +2 melee (1d4) or bite +3 melee (1d6) or wail (special); AC 10; HD 3d6; MV fly 20'; Act 1d20; SP ghostly body, pounce, mourner's wail; SV Fort +1, Ref +1, Will +3; AL N; Crit U/d8.
 
The wampus cougar is smaller than other mountain lions, with longer, silver-white fur that seems to shine in the dark. It floats rather than walks, stalking completely silently, and appears almost unreal as it moves. The sight or sound of a wampus cougar is widely believed to be an omen foretelling death.
 
If the wampus cougar makes the first attack of combat, it will use its mourner's wail; otherwise it attacks normally. Thereafter, it will alternate attacks between claw, bite, and wail, pouncing when possible.
 
Ghostly body: The wampus cougar takes half damage from ordinary weapons. It counts as unholy for neutral clerics and lives halfway between our world and the spirit realm.
 
Pounce: The wampus cougar can pounce to gain an extra d20 attack die and attack with any two different attacks, i.e. claw and bite, bite and wail, wail and claw. The wampus cougar can only pounce if it surprises its victims, attacks first due to initiative, or has taken no damage since its previous attack.
 
Mourner's wail: The wampus cat caterwauls like a mother crying for lost children. The wampus cougar's wail affects the opponent with the lowest Luck score who hasn't been affected yet today (in case of tie, it targets the opponent with the lowest hit points from among those with lowest Luck). The affected target rolls a Luck check to see how they're affected:

• Half Luck score or lower - Permanently gain 1 hit point

• Luck score or lower - The target faints and immediately comes to. Lose 1 hit point and fall prone

• Higher than Luck score - The target loses half her current hit points (rounded up) and falls prone

• Higher than double Luck score - The target drops to 0 hit points and begin bleeding out

Undead crit: A wampus cougar rolls 1d8 on the undead crit table.

GFA18 - Sabretooth Cougar

My fourth mountain lion variation for the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac is the sabretooth cougar. The biggest changes to my basic mountain lion template is that the sabretooth is giant, so I decided to take advantage of the DCC rules for turning it into a giant. It gets an extra Hit Dice and its die-size goes up by +1d on the dice-chain. Its claw attack goes up by +1d damage, and its bite attack goes up by +2d (because, c'mon it has sabre-teeth). Like other giants, it gets a d24 Action Dice, crits on rolls of 20 or higher, and uses the Giants' crit table. 
   
I think I'm probably espousing a general philosophy of how to treat dinosaurs and megafauna by writing this. I'm definitely advocating that other DCC authors follow my lead and add a Crit entry to the end of the standard stat-block. Most of the time, it just saves having to cross-reference your monster entry against that table of crits by monster type and HD. Sometimes though, like this, having the entry come standard makes it easier to show that a monster has an unusual crit. Danny Prescott edited the entire mountain lion series, and he provided the art for this entry.
 

Art by Danny Prescott

   
Sabretooth cougar: Init +3; Atk claw +4 melee (1d6+1) or bite +6 melee (1d10+2); AC 16; HD 4d10; MV 40' or climb 20'; Act 1d24; SP pounce, crit on 20+; SV Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +1; AL N; Crit G/d4.
 
The sabretooth cougar is megafauna from an earlier era. It stands a foot taller and a foot longer than other mountain lions with orange fur and a tawny belly. Its most notable features are its namesake foot-long fangs, which give it a vicious bite.
 
If the sabretooth cougar makes the first attack of combat it will pounce; otherwise it attacks normally. Thereafter, it will alternate attacks between claw and bite, pouncing when possible.
 
Pounce: The sabretooth cougar can pounce to gain an extra d24 attack die and attack that round with both claw and bite. The sabretooth cougar can only pounce if it surprises its victims, attacks first due to initiative, or has taken no damage since its previous attack.
 
Giant crit: The sabretooth cougar uses d24 action dice to attack, and crits on any roll of 20+. Its crits roll 1d4 on the giant crit table.

GFA18 - Mountain Lion Cougar

The third mountain lion variation in my series for the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac is the mountain-lion cougar, which is the baseline monster I altered to make all the other variations. It's the simplest and probably the easiest to fight.
   
Danny Prescott edited all the entries in this series. Clayton Williams provided the art for this one. Somehow the black bands on this cougar make me think of an 80s workout music video.
 

Art by Clayton Williams.

 
Mountain-lion cougar: Init +1; Atk claw +2 melee (1d4) or bite +3 melee (1d6); AC 13; HD 3d8; MV 40' or climb 20'; Act 1d20; SP pounce; SV Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +1; AL N; Crit M/d8.
 
Mountain-lion cougars look like giant house cats, standing 3' tall at the shoulder and measure 7' from nose to tail. They have short tawny fur that turns white around their mouths and down their bellies. Their ears and nose are outlined in black, as are their paws and the tips of their tails.
 
If the mountain-lion cougar makes the first attack of combat, it will pounce; otherwise it attacks normally. Thereafter, it will alternate attacks between claw and bite, pouncing when possible.
 
Pounce: The mountain-lion cougar can pounce to gain an extra d20 attack die and attack that round with both a claw and bite. The mountain-lion cougar can only pounce if it surprises its victims, attacks first due to initiative, or has taken no damage since its previous attack.

GFA18 - Cactus Cougar

My second mountain lion variation for the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac is the cactus cougar. Like the ball-tailed cougar, this is a semi-naturalistic take on an American folkloric creature. My idea to give these monsters pre-programmed attack strategies is a little bit easier to see in this one. If it attacks first in the first round of combat, it starts with the drunkard's wail, otherwise it starts with body slam, then bites, then wails, etc. If it gets the chance to pounce, it will just do whichever two attacks come next in the programmed order.
   
The cactus cougar is also the first example of the "wail" attack I thought of. Like a dragon's breath, "wails" hit their targets automatically, but you get some kind of defensive roll to protect yourself. Except instead of a saving throw, you get to use DCC's Luck roll mechanic, which is basically "roll under your Luck score or bad things happen to you." In this case, I wanted more outcomes, adding something like a critical success and something like a critical failure. I initially thought about having them turn up on rolls of 1 or 20, but I decided that I wanted them to occur a bit more often, and I wanted to differentiate them a bit from DCC's official "crits" and "fumbles." Note that any character with a Luck score 2 or higher can potentially get the best outcome, but ONLY characters with Luck 9 or lower can get the worst - at Luck 10 and above, it's simply not possible to roll more than twice your Luck score (unless something forces you to roll a d24 instead of a d20, I guess). 
   
Danny Prescott edited this piece and the others in this series. Again, I want to point out how invaluable his help was in making sure my instructions for pouncing would make sense to people who aren't me. Clayton Williams did the art for this one.
 

Art by Clayton Williams 

 
Cactus cougar: Init +1; Atk bodyslam +3 melee (1d6 + spikes) or bite +2 melee (1d6) or wail (special); AC 16; HD 3d8; MV 40' or 20' climb; Act 1d20; SP pounce, spikes, drunkard's wail; SV Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +1; AL N; Crit M/d8.
 
The cactus cougar has green tinged fur and six-inch quills growing at intervals across its body. Although as agile as any other mountain lion, it has a clumsy, staggering walk and a distended belly.
 
If the cactus cougar makes the first attack of combat it will use its drunkard's wail; otherwise it attacks normally. Thereafter, it will alternate attacks as follows: bodyslam, bite, and wail, pouncing when possible. If the cactus cougar puts every living opponent to sleep it will eat the sleeping target with the lowest Luck score then return to its den.
 
Pounce: The cactus cougar can pounce to gain an extra d20 attack die that round and attack with any two different options, i.e. body-slam and bite, bite and wail, or wail and body-slam. The cactus cougar can only pounce if it surprises its victims, attacks first due to initiative, or has taken no damage since its previous attack.
 
Spikes: A target hit by the cactus cougar's bodyslam, or who deals melee damage to it, is stabbed by several of its spikes. The target makes a DC 13 Fort save against poison. Upon success they take 1 damage; otherwise they take 1d4 damage and will be affected the next time the cactus cougar wails.
 
Drunkard's wail: The cactus cougar caterwauls like a drunkard singing on the walk home. Affected targets each roll Luck checks to determine how they are affected. If the cactus cougar wails during the first round of combat it affects the target who drank alcohol most recently, otherwise its wail affects all targets who failed their poison save since the last time it wailed:

• Half Luck score or lower -The water in the target’s canteen becomes very fine mescal or tequila.

• Luck score or lower - The target is drunk, and has a terrible hangover in the morning.

• Higher than Luck score - The target falls asleep, and for 1 hour cannot be woken except by taking damage.

• Higher than double Luck score - The target falls asleep, and for 8 hours cannot be woken except by magic.

GFA18 - Ball Tailed Couger

This 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac piece is the first in a series of mountain lion variations. I started with a base monster, and then for each variation, tried to come up with a couple really basic ways that it would be different. The ball-tailed cougar, my naturalistic variation on the folkloric ball-tailed cat, is relatively simple. I decided that DCC's dwarven shield-bash mechanic would work pretty well for the tail-slap attack, so that d14 Action Die listed below is dedicated to only be use for tail-slapping.
  
Danny Prescott edited this series, and he volunteered art for this entry. He was a huge help in making sure the text related to the "pounce" ability made sense. His suggestions made my writing much clearer. I wanted to try out something where each of the mountain lions has a very predictable series of attacks, and a special ability that gives them an extra attack under certain circumstances. The predictable attacks potentially allow the players to strategize how to best to fight these things. In particular, preventing the cougar from winning initiative or going an entire round without taking damage makes it MUCH easier to defeat by denying it the chance to use its pounce ability.
  
Having a predictable order of attacks is also supposed to take some weight off the referee. I'm much more comfortable in the role of "neutral arbiter" than I am in the role of "adversary trying to kill your characters" so having pre-ordained tactics makes it easier for me to run the fight without either feeling uncomfortable about being "too hard" on my players or feeling as though I'm improperly pulling my punches. (Demanding that the claw attack be used every other round also solves a head-scratcher on many monster sheets, which is that if the judge is choosing which attacks to use, why would you ever use the claw attack when the bite attack is clearly better? In this case, you do so because the instructions say that's how this animal behaves.) Pre-programmed tactics can also potentially make different monsters FEEL different by making them do different things, even if their stats are pretty much the same. Programmed tactics might be better for animals than for intelligent opponents, although I also like the "video-game boss monster" feel that you get from knowing that your adversary is running through a set list of moves.
  

Art by Danny Prescott

  
Ball-tailed cougar: Init +1; Atk claw +2 melee (1d4) or bite +3 melee (1d6) or tail-slap +2 melee (1d6); AC 13; HD 3d8; MV 40' or climb 20'; Act 1d20 + 1d14; SP pounce, tail-slap; SV Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +1; AL N; Crit M/d8.
  
The ball-tailed cougar has a double-long tail that ends in a rounded club like an ankylosaurus or manticore.
  
If the ball-tailed cougar makes the first attack of combat, it will pounce; otherwise it attacks normally. Thereafter, it will alternate attacks between claw and tail-slap and bite and tail-slap, pouncing when possible.
  
Pounce: The ball-tailed cougar can pounce to gain an extra d20 attack die that round to attack with both its claws and bite. The ball-tailed cougar can only pounce if it surprises its victims, attacks first due to initiative, or has taken no damage since its previous attack.
  
Tail-slap: Each round, the ball-tailed cougar can make an attack with its tail using a d14 attack die.

GFA18 - Mountain Lion Varieties & Signs

My next batch of Gongfarmer's Almanac 2018 pieces are a series of related monsters for Weird West adventures in DCC. My initial inspiration for these was the Pokemon variations meme of drawing multiple versions of the same Pokemon in a way that resembles natural genetic variation. So this is my attempt to create slightly naturalistic monsters out of some famous "fearsome critters" of American folklore. Danny Prescott edited this batch of entries.
 
  
Travelers in the western half of North America know to fear the mountain lions that stalk the rocky Cordillera region from British Columbia down to Jalisco, and are even found occasionally back East. Mountain lions are solitary predators who follow their prey for some time and often surprise unwary victims. Mountain lions look like giant house cats, standing 3' tall at the shoulder and measure 7' from nose to tail. They have short tawny fur that turns white around their mouths and down their bellies. Their ears and nose are outlined in black, as are their paws and the tips of their tails.
  
If PCs encounter a mountain lion, roll 1d6 to determine the type: (1) ball-tailed cougar; (2) cactus cougar; (3) mountain-lion cougar; (4) sabretooth cougar; (5) wampus cougar; (6) were-cougar.
  
If the characters all stop attacking and throw down all their rations, kill an animal or person for the lion to eat, or allow the lion to eat someone who has already died, any mountain lion will take its meal and retreat to its den immediately.
  

 
Signs: Some characters are skilled trackers and can discover the presence of wilderness creatures before they're encountered. Judges may allow their players to encounter clues about the identity of local monsters before encountering them directly. Use the portents below if players are potentially likely to encounter a mountain lion. A character hearing a distant wail as a sign of a nearby lion will be the first character targeted by the wail during combat. I recommend playing Ratatat's "Wildcat" quietly on repeat from the time the characters encounter a sign (or roll initiative for combat) until the end of the encounter.
  
Ball-tailed cougar: The PC hears a sound like a child bouncing a ball, over and over and over.
  
Cactus cougar: The PC smells tequila in the wind and hears caterwauling like a drunkard singing on the walk home. The character who drank alcohol most recently is now drunk again and can feel the hangover coming already.
  
Mountain-lion cougar: The PC smells ammonia in the wind, and for a moment everything goes silent as the birds stop singing and insects quit their buzzing. After a short period the natural sounds resume.
  
Sabretooth cougar: The PC feels a sudden chill in the air, like breeze blowing in off a glacier, and hears what sounds like distant thunder.
  
Wampus cougar: A cloud crosses the sun and throws the PC into shadow. The PC hears a caterwaul like a mother's cry for lost children. The character with the lowest Luck and lowest hit points faints and immediately comes to after losing 1 hit point.
  
Were-cougar: The PC hears a woman singing. He can't make out the words, but it sounds like a lonely woman singing about her cat. The male character with the highest Personality and highest Luck is sure the singer is the most beautiful woman in the world.

  
   

GFA18 - Scribing Runes in MCC

This is the last of my Gongfarmer's Almanac 2018 articles that deal with Mutant Crawl Classics. (Don't worry, it's not the last one overall, coming next are some materials for DCC Westerns.) This time, I was thinking about ways to bring a little more DCC magic into MCC. In my image of the Terra AD setting, technology takes the form of discrete technological artifacts, but it also takes the form of sites and locations. Some of these are deadly, acting like traps, but others represent powers that characters can use (and re-use) if they can get to the right place. Ideally, there should be multiple "right places" for any given effect, but you can't just activate any effect from any where.
 
I really want to give a shout out to Karim for the great art accompanying this piece. Because he was volunteering his time and talent to GFA18, he would have been totally within his rights to simply look at my draft and then draw whatever he wanted inspired by it. Karim when above and beyond though; he essentially volunteered to give me the true commission experience. He drew preliminary sketches, revised them based on my comments, check the revisions with me, then made the final versions. All the pieces went through some revision, but this one went through the most. I had described something a little like David Langford's "blit" where a parrot-like image drives people insane, except ... what I described didn't really work visually. Karim came up with the idea of the parrot as a mechanical pop-up, and the effect as a beam, and it's fantastically weird, and it just ... works. (Plus check out the gross detail on the disintegrating guy! It's off the hook!)
 
Keith Garrett edited this piece, as he did the others in this series. You might have recognized the narrative example from my previous article as being lifted from Star Trek First Contact. The example here is probably harder to recognize. It comes from Jasper Fford's novel Shades of Grey. The whole community structure and set-up of that novel would, I think, make for a pretty good entry-level scenario for MCC.
   

Art by Karim

 
In a world without literacy, all writing seems like magic. Some writing is much more magical than others, however. Some writing issues commands that its viewers have to obey, even if they can't actually "read" it. The DCC spells runic alphabet (mortal) and runic alphabet (fey) represent a set of procedures that characters can memorize by rote in order to enact wetware-like effects without direct intervention by the patron AIs. The DCC spell make potion even provides a list of procedures characters can follow to issue wetware-like commands to themselves.
   
Characters can only learn runes one at a time, they can never memorize an entire runic alphabet at once. Characters learn a rune by making a technology roll, including their usual artifact check bonus. A character must make a technology roll equal to the rune's original minimum spellcheck in order to memorize it. Once a character has memorized a rune, they can inscribe it any time by making a technology roll equal to the rune's spell check. The rune's complexity is equal to twice its spell level (so mortal runes are complexity 2 and fey runes and potions are both complexity 6). If the alternative technology roll described earlier is used, then characters' technology die is also their spell check die, and can continue to improve even after they memorize the rune. If the bard class described earlier is used, bards roll +1d on technology rolls to learn and scribe runes. Most characters can memorize a number of runes equal to half their character level, while bards can memorize a number of runes equal to their level.
  
A rune might represent ancient machine code. Writing the code might issue a command-line instruction to a patron AI's satellite mainframe, and activating the rune might represent the satellite compiling and executing the code via the AI's operatives and resources planetside. Or, a rune might represent ancient logins, passwords, and database entries. Writing the rune might fill in a webform maintained by the nanites ambient in the atmosphere all over Terra A.D., and activating the rune might represent the nanites submitting the entry as a new row in a cloud database. Or, a rune might consist of images that exploit flaws in the image-processing centers of the human brain to produce almost unavoidable effects, as described by David Langford in his "blit" and "basilisk" stories. Learning the rune might represent learning to accurately reproduce the image without suffering its effects. Inscribing might consist of drawing this image, and activating it might represent fully revealing the image to its victim's visual cortex. Depending on the judge's interpretation, inscribing a rune might require access to a functioning ancient computer terminal, special paints or stencils to craft a nanite-readable barcode or QR code, or protective eyewear to shield the scribe's own optic nerve from the rune's effects.
  
Example: Jane has been press-ganged into leading Tommo and Violet into an abandoned ancient city to collect spoons and other artifacts. Near the edge of town, she spots an Ancient screen and keyboard, attached to a machine that accepts rectangular leaves and returns metal pebbles. First she types in the command to make the monitor display a particular shade of green that relieves the injuries she suffered on the road (make potion "healing", technology DC 18, Complexity 6). When Tommo and Violet demand that Jane repeat the procedure, she enacts the second part of her plan, typing in a command to display a coruscating pattern of red-and-green static that causes Tommo and Violet to hemorrhage to death on the spot (runic alphabet (fey) "pain", technology DC 16, Complexity 6). Jane returns home telling a story about how Tommo and Violet "were eaten by a carnivorous plant."

GFA18 - Alternative Technology Check for MCC

I wrote some alternate rules for making technology checks in Mutant Crawl Classics for the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac. My goal was to make a mini-game out of learning to use technology. As I state below, this is too complex to use for every piece of technology the characters find. My purpose for creating a mini-game is so that, in a sandbox game, the process of mastering an important, campaign-changing piece of technology becomes both a reason to "quest for it" and a spur to new adventures. Players have an incentive to go looking for instructions, tools, and parts to help boost their technology rolls, and the ability to master (or even mass-produce) the tech creates new opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. The fact that progressing up the table typically involves the device breaking or becoming temporarily unusable a few times means that judges can give their players fairly powerful objects without fear of them immediately breaking the game. Players can use the power a few times without much trouble, but if they want to use the power of the artifact to remake the campaign world, they're going to have to work to make that happen.
   
Keith Garrett edited all my MCC-related writing in the GFA18, but he had a lot more to do for this piece than any of the others. His advice and help resulted in something better and more clear than what I initially wrote. Karim did the art for this and all my MCC pieces. 
 
   

Art by Karim

   
 
DCC uses d10 skill checks for untrained characters and d20 skill checks for skilled characters. Thieves begin the game casting spells from scrolls using a d10 (as untrained with magic) but as they gain levels, their dice-type improves, one step at a time, modeling the learning process. This alternative to the MCC technology check uses thieves' spellcasting improvement as a model and applies it to denizens of Terra A.D. learning to use Ancient technology.
 
When characters first encounter a new piece of ancient technology, they roll d10 + Artifact check bonus + Intelligence modifier. As they learn to understand the artifact, their dice-type can improve. Characters need to be very smart or very lucky to operate a new artifact successfully, or do anything at all other than break it. But each success has the chance to lead to new insights, allowing characters to eventually gain mastery over each new piece of technology.
 
Technology level and complexity: The tech level sets a limit on the who may attempt to use an artifact. A character cannot make a technology roll for an artifact whose tech level is higher than the limit set by their Intelligence--unless their character level is equal or higher to the tech level (for example, any 7th-level character can attempt to use alien technology, even if their Intelligence is lower than 24. Most 6th-level characters can't attempt to use such a device, however; they can't even fumble and break it). Characters don't need to make technology rolls for objects from their home culture's tech level or lower.
 
(Stone-age technology is TL 1, mechanical devices are TL 2, electronic and modern computing devices are TL 3, near-future tech is TL 4, far-future tech is TL 5, technology indistinguishable from magic is TL 6, and advanced alien technology is TL 7).
 
The complexity of an artifact is subtracted as a penalty from the technology roll.
 
Progressing and re-rolling: As characters roll on the table below, the technology die they roll (starting with d10) can only increase, never decrease. If a result indicates that further rolls should be made using a technology die that's lower than the character's current ability, ignore that portion of the result.
 
Characters can also continue to study and master ancient technology that is currently non-functional or broken. If a result indicates that the artifact activates, but the tech can’t activate because it needs repairs, or it has run out of ammunition or power, then it doesn’t activate, ignore that portion of the result.
 
Each successful result on the table below is intended to eventually force a re-roll. Each entry describes how long a character can use the artifact before they must make another technology roll. For example, on a result of 17-19, the artifact functions for 1d3 game sessions before it breaks and needs minor repairs. Once that happens, the character must make a new technology roll, even if they can make minor repairs without needing a new tech roll to learn how--they still need a new technology roll because the result demanded it.
 
Classes bonuses: As noted in their character descriptions, some characters have an affinity for certain forms of ancient technology. Sentinels also add their artifact bonus die to technology rolls for weapons and armor. Healers roll +1d on rolls related to medical artifacts and devices. Rovers receive an additional bonus to understand ancient doors, locks, traps, and other security systems. These bonuses still apply to the technology roll as well as to Intelligence checks related to learning or using the technology.
 
Assisting and teaching: One character must volunteer to be the primary technology user; that character makes the technology roll using their current technology die for that object. Up to three characters may assist, if they have sufficient intelligence. Both the technology user and all assistants may expend Luck to improve the technology roll, and all assistants suffer the consequences of a poor roll. To serve as an assistant, a character must have a minimum Intelligence of 13 (or Int modifier +1). A technology user can have two assistants as long as one assistant has a minimum Intelligence of 16 (or Int modifier +2), and three assistants as long as one has a minimum Intelligence of 18 (or Int modifier +3). Add the Intelligence modifier AND the Luck modifier of each assistant to the technology roll, along with any expended Luck.
 
When a technology user teaches another character to use a piece of technology, the student must roll a d20 to make a DC 10 Intelligence check, modified by their Artifact check bonus, to learn what the teacher knows. On a natural 1, the artifact is permanently broken and inflicts maximum damage on the student and the learner. On a successful Intelligence check, the student may now roll the same technology die as the teacher.
 
Describing technology: Until characters have attempted to use an artifact and begun to unravel its secrets, they should receive only an "abstract description" as explained in the MCC rules. Once they have a d12 or higher technology die, they have earned the right to a "literal description."
 
Judging advice: This alternate rule is intended to create a mini-game out of learning to use ancient artifacts. As such, it is probably too cumbersome to use with every artifact the characters find. Instead, I recommend using different approaches depending on the nature of the artifact. Trinkets and other extremely simple artifacts might work automatically. Single-use artifacts might still allow a d20 technology die from the very beginning. Learning to use one artifact might grant a bonus - or even allow the characters to use the same technology die - for any similar objects.
 
 
Table: Artifact Check Results
 
1     The artifact breaks irreparably and inflicts maximum damage (or 1d6, for artifacts with no damage listed) to all characters within a range of 10' (or further, if applicable based on the artifact).
 
2-3   The artifact breaks and needs major repairs. It inflicts 1d3 damage on the user and all assistants.
 
4-6   The artifact breaks and needs minor repairs.
 
7-11   The artifact doesn't function, but isn't broken. However, a piece is missing, a part is knocked out of position, a control is on the wrong setting. The device won't activate until a DC 12 Intelligence check makes it functional again.
 
12-13   The artifact activates for one use, but its operation is still not understood. Another technology roll must be made before it can be used again. Further technology rolls use a d12 technology die.
 
14-16   The artifact activates and is minimally understood. It can be used for 1d3 uses, then another technology roll must be made before it can be used again. Further technology rolls use a d14 technology die.
 
17-19   The artifact activates and its operation is basically understood. Additional ammunition or power sources can be used to reload the artifact if they're available. The artifact can be used for 1d3 game sessions, then it needs minor repairs and another technology roll must be made before it can be used again. Further technology rolls use a d16 technology die.
 
20-26   The artifact activates and its operation is well understood. Minor repairs may be attempted with a DC 12 Intelligence check and the correct tools and materials. The artifact can be used for 1d4 game sessions, then it needs major repairs and another technology roll must be made before it can be used again. Further technology rolls use a d20 technology die.
 
27-33   The artifact activates and its operation is precisely understood. Minor repairs may be attempted without rolling a check. Major repairs may be attempted with the correct tools and materials and a DC 12 Intelligence check. The artifact can be used for 1d6 game sessions, then it breaks irreparably and needs to be replaced. Further technology rolls use a d24 technology die.
 
34-35   The artifact activates and its operation is precisely understood. Major and minor repairs may be attempted without rolling a check. A duplicate artifact can be constructed with the proper materials, parts, and tools and DC 12 Intelligence check. The artifact can be used for 1d8 game sessions, then it breaks irreparably and needs to be replaced. Further technology rolls use a d30 technology die.
 
36+     The artifact activates and its operation is precisely understood. Major and minor repairs, and even the construction of a duplicate artifact can be attempted without rolling a check. No further technology rolls are needed for this object. It can be operated at-will, and no greater understanding can be achieved by examining it. The technological principles underlying the artifact can be understood by making a DC 24 Intelligence check. Once these principles are understood, new artifacts can be designed by following those principles, using correct materials, parts, and tools, and a DC 12 Intelligence check.
 
 
Example: Lily is a post-apocalyptic scavenger, familiar with TL 3 automatic firearms. When Lily meets Jean, a time-traveler from the far future, she steals Jean's fazer-pistol and threatens to shoot Jean with it unless someone explains why cyborgs are attacking. Jean promises to protect Lily, and manages to persuade her to return the pistol unfired. Curious to know what would have happened, Lily's player rolls d10 and adds Lily's Intelligence modifier (+0 for Int 12) plus her artifact check bonus (+2 for a 1st level Rover), subtracts the fazer-pistol's Complexity (-6), and gets a total of 0. Jean says "It was set to overload. If you had shot me, it would have exploded and killed us both." Feeling embarrassed, Lily says "It was my first raygun." Later, they find a hard-light hologram of a 1920s machine gun, and Lily is able to use it without making a technology roll at all. Together, Jean and Lily repel the cyborg invasion!

GFA18 - MCC Ranger

This is the last of my three 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac pieces about adding additional human classes to MCC. The original DCC Ranger was written by Raskal and published in CRAWL! no 6: Classic Class Collection. Rather than presenting the complete class, I offer suggested modifications needed to make the Ranger work in the Terra AD setting. My concept for rangers in the post-apocalyptic second Stone Age is pretty similar to their concept in other games, I think. Unlike the bard and paladin, they didn't need much re-imagining. Instead, what they needed were rules tweaks to account for the different weapons technology, different monster ecology, and different wilderness available in Terra AD. Keith Garrett edited this and the other pieces in this series, and Karim provided the art.
 
 
MCC Ranger
Rangers in the world of Terra A.D. are very similar to their counterparts in the Ancient world. They are tough wilderness warriors, living at the fringes of tribal areas. They train to survive in wilderness areas and act as guides to those crossing dangerous regions. They excel at martial combat against their favored enemies, and have a keen expertise in stealth and survival.
 
Archery expert ranger path: When firing into melee, the ranger can ignore the 50% chance to hit an ally engaged in the fight. In addition, the ranger can perform Mighty Deeds of Arms as a DCC warrior when fighting with a blowgun, sling, shortbow, or longbow.
 
Two-weapon expert ranger path: The ranger can fight with two one-handed weapons as though their Agility was 16 (although staff and spear are one-handed weapons, the ranger can only effectively wield one weapon of such size at a time; the second weapon must be smaller, such as a dagger or club). The ranger can perform Mighty Deeds of Arms as a DCC warrior when fighting with two weapons.
 
Wilderness skills: Rangers train to survive in both hostile natural environments and the very hostile, very un-natural environment of the ruins of ancient cities. Although their skills are still mostly only relevant out-of-doors, they function as well amidst Ancient ruins as they do in the wastelands. For example, rangers can climb sky-scraping ancient buildings as easily as they climb other steep cliffs, find water dripping from the tap of abandoned plumbing just as they find natural springs, and hide in alleyways as easily as they do behind natural outcroppings.
 
Rangers are considered trained in the following skills, and receive a bonus to skill checks equal to their class level plus their ability score modifier: Climb (Agility), Find and neutralize natural/Ancient traps (Agility), Sneak and hide (Agility), Strider (Agility), Survival (Personality).
 
Favored enemies: At 1st level, the ranger must choose one type of favored enemy from the following list: androids, cyborgs, devils, holograms, manimals, mutants, plantients, robots, slimes, horrors (creatures with a mutation check bonus special property). At 3rd, 6th, and 9th levels, the ranger can choose another favored enemy, so long as they've fought that enemy before.
 
Darwinian luck: Pure strain humans are very lucky as a species. Rangers regenerate spent Luck at the rate of 1 point for each 24 hour period.
 
AI recognition: Because of their close resemblance to the Ancient Ones, all pure strain humans (including rangers) gain a natural +2 to AI recognition rolls.
 
Archaic alignment: Rangers may begin as members of either The Clan of Cog or The Curators alignments.
 
Artifact check bonus: Rangers have a natural affinity for understanding the artifacts of the ancients, resulting in an added bonus to their artifact checks. Rangers use the artifact check bonus recommended for DCC clerics and thieves. Lvl 1-2 ACB +3, Lvl 3-4 ACB +5, Lvl 5-7 ACB +7, Lvl 8-9 ACB +9, Lvl 10 ACB +10

GFA18 - MCC Paladin

My second 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac article about additional pure-strain human classes re-imagines the Paladin. The original DCC Paladin was written by Jose Lira and published in CRAWL! no 6: Classic Class Collection. Rather than presenting the complete class, I offer suggested modification needed to make the Paladin work in the Terra AD setting. My vision of paladins for MCC is that they're fanatics devoted human purity and/or to the Patron AI satellites. The bits about pantheons and alignment, I think, really drive home both how nasty paladins are and how different they are from other characters in MCC. My occupation list and starting equipment list both imply a certain amount of inequality and animosity between pure strain humans and other character types; paladins embody this attitude to the extreme.
   
To avoid just making bards and paladins into lesser shamans, my goal was to sort of divide the patrons in half, give one set to the bards, the other set to the paladins, and leave GAEA for the shamans alone. I didn't quite achieve that, because while paladins start out invoking one of the security-related patrons, alignment restrictions prevent them from adopting the other two security satellites. Instead they'll eventually learn wetware related to other, non-security patrons in the same Pantheon, and thus slightly overlap with bards at higher levels. Keith Garrett edited this and the other pieces in this series, and Karim provided the art.
 
 
MCC Paladin
Paladins in the world of Terra A.D. are fanatics who revere the patron AIs. They are martially skilled and train rigorously to serve their pantheon. They wield a small bit of wetware programming and are living agents of the AIs.
 
Choosing a pantheon: At 1st level, a paladin selects an alliance of patron AIs to worship: either the Mainframe of Order, the Grid of Net Neutrality, or the Matrix of Entropy. At 2nd level, a paladin selects a specific AI to serve, while remaining loyal to the pantheon as a whole. This patron will grant the paladin access to wetware programs of terrible power, including the program Invoke Patron AI. Because of their role, paladins almost always adopt security-minded patrons, especially HEXACODA, ACHROMA, and MANGALA. At higher levels, a paladin may adopt additional patron AIs from the same pantheon, but they always maintain an affinity for the first Orbital God they served.
 
Archaic alignment: Paladins adhere strictly to their alignment and devote themselves to their pantheon's cause. Their devotion to the patron AI's principles is absolute. Paladins may begin as members of The Clan of Cog, The Curators, and they are the only player characters who may be members of The Gene Police archaic alignment. In addition, paladins adopt the ancient systems of thought that form the basis of the patron AIs' philosophical alignments: Law, Neutrality, and Chaos.
 
Smite: Paladins can empower their weapons against those deemed unworthy by their AI patrons. Instead of their regular attack bonus, paladins can add their Smite Die to their attack and damage rolls when attacking mutants, manimals, plantients, and horrors (any creatures with a mutation check bonus as a special property).
 
Magic: Like shamans, paladins can run wetware programs granted them by their AI patrons. Paladins add their Personality modifier to their spell check, and may use glowburn by consuming radioactive substances while running a program. Rather than risking disapproval like DCC paladins, MCC paladins risk patron taint from spellcasting.
 
Holy deeds: Rather than risking disapproval like DCC paladins, MCC paladins risk patron taint when they perform holy deeds.
 
Lay on hands: Paladins have the power to channel ambient atmospheric nanites controlled by their patron to heal the wounded. Unlike DCC paladins, MCC paladins can use this power to repair robots and holograms, though only those that are aligned with the correct AI pantheon. Because of the differences between repair and biological healing, all AIs count as "opposed" for the purposes of determining the holy deed result. All pure strain humans count as "same", mutants count as "adjacent", manimals count as "opposed", and plantients cannot be healed. The paladin must physically touch the wounds and concentrate for 1 action.
 
Fallen paladin: Each day an MCC paladin receives any patron taint, they gain one point on the Fallen Paladin table. As with DCC paladins, using their holy powers in ways that contradict the will of the patron AIs risks incurring additional points directly. Like DCC paladins, these points do not reset each day, and must be erased by paying real sacrifices to atone and be redeemed in the eyes of the AI patrons.
 
Darwinian luck: Pure strain humans are very lucky as a species, but paladins sacrifice much of this when taking on a patron AI. Paladins regenerate spent Luck at the rate of 1 point per 7-day period.
 
AI recognition: Because of their close resemblance to the Ancient Ones, all pure strain humans (including paladins) gain a natural +2 to AI recognition rolls.
 
Artifact check bonus: Paladins have a natural affinity for understanding the artifacts of the ancients, resulting in an added bonus to their artifact checks. Paladins use the artifact check bonus recommended for DCC warriors. Lvl 1-4 ACB +2, Lvl 5-8 ACB +6, Lvl 9-10 +8.

GFA18 - MCC Bard

Although I'm not trying to break my writing into its smallest publishable units, I thought the next article from the 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac would blog better in three parts. My alternate character creation rules for Mutant Crawl Classics result in more pure-strain humans than the MCC rules. Because of this, I recommend adding more human classes. 
   
The original DCC Bard was written by Jose Lira and published in CRAWL! no 6: Classic Class Collection. Rather than presenting the complete class, I offer suggested modifications needed to make the Bard work in the Terra AD setting. My vision of bards in Terra AD is that they're lore-collectors who inadvertently become hackers, because the old stories they learn let them reprogram the machines that run the world. Bards get access to the non security-focused patrons, and leave GAEA as someone who only Shamans can invoke. Keith Garrett edited this and the other pieces in this series, and Karim provided the art for the series.
 
 
MCC Bard
Bards in the world of Terra A.D. travel and perform, giving hope and comfort, recording events and tragedies, remembering the fallen and lost, inspiring others to greatness.
 
Magic: Unlike shamans, bards are dabblers who do not serve the AI patrons; they hack them. Their inquisitive nature and tendency to collect odd bits of lore and old tales exposes them to the ability to access, download, and run wetware programs by spoofing logins, falsifying credentials, and phishing older passwords that still check out.
 
Because of the way that bards access wetware programs, they cannot use glowburn as shamans do. Bards access wetware without the patron AI's knowledge, utilizing a series of callbacks, backdoors, scheduled tasks, scripted replies, and automated responses to run their programs in the background of an AI's consciousness. These procedures are memorized by rote and not fully understood by the bards who use them. As a result, bards learn wetware programs completely randomly. When a bard reaches a level to acquire a new program, the player rolls to determine which program the bard has learned to access (see below). Re-roll if the bard already knows the program.
 
Table: Bard Wetware Program Selection

• Level 1-3: Roll 1d8: (1) Biological ark; (2) Invoke HALE-E; (3) Invoke ME10; (4) Invoke TETRAPLEX; (5) Invoke UKUR; (6) Nanogram; (7) Query; (8) Sightblinder.

• Level 4-6: Roll 1d6: (1) EM spike; (2) Light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation; (3) Memory worm; (4) Polygons; (5) Scripted illusion (from CRAWL! 6, by Yves Larochelle); (6) Ventriloquism

• Level 7-10: Roll 1d4: (1) Attune with artifact; (2) Restore backup; (3) Trans-replication; (4) Virtual reality

 
Lore: The lore roll can be used to remember the purpose or function of an artifact, but not to remember its operation or improve the artifact check.
 
Darwinian luck: Pure strain humans are very lucky as a species. Bards regenerate spent Luck at a rate of 1 point for each 24 hour period. Unlike DCC bards, MCC bards do not apply their Luck modifier to talent checks or lore rolls.
 
AI recognition: Because of their close resemblance to the Ancient Ones, all pure strain humans (including bards) gain a natural +2 to AI recognition rolls.
 
Archaic alignment: Bards may begin as members of either The Clan of Cog or The Curators archaic alignments.
 
Artifact check bonus: Bards have a natural affinity for understanding the artifacts of the ancients, resulting in an added bonus to artifact checks. Bards use the artifact check bonus recommended for DCC wizards and elves. Lvl 1-2 ACB +6, Lvl 3-4 ACB +8, Lvl 5-7 ACB +10, Lvl 8-9 ACB + 12, Lvl 10 ACB +14.

GFA18 - Alternate Plantients for MCC

My fifth 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac article (and this is the last one I'm numbering, I swear) is a list of alternate plantient appearances for Mutant Crawl Classics. Like my alternate manimals, this is a follow-up to my earlier thoughts about MCC's plantients and to my post about Future Evolution. You may notice that common farm and yard plants get top billing here. For some of the plant types, I listed very common types as suggestions. For others, there were either too many options (I don't want to list every kind of flower I can think of, what could possibly be the point of that?) or too few (does anyone really have multiple strong images of ferns in their head, and need a table to help them decide which one to imagine now?) I think the player should be allowed the leeway to describe their plantient looking the way they want - which could include, for example, choosing to look like a pine cone instead of a pine tree if they rolled a 14. As with my other posts in this series, Keith Garrett made it better with editing, and Karim made it better with art.
   

Art by Karim

 
Table: Plantient Body Type
Roll 1d6: (1) Human body-plan with plantlike features; (2-4) Human-plant hybrid or anthropomorphic plant; (5-6) Sentient plant with roughly human-sized body, opposable thumbs, fine manual dexterity, and terrestrial locomotion.
   
   
Table: Plantient Subtype (roll 1d24)
 
1     Cereal grain - Roll 1d4: (1) rice; (2) wheat; (3) corn; (4) oats.
 
2     Leafy vegetable - Roll 1d3: (1) celery; (2) lettuce; (3) greens.
 
3     Underground - Roll 1d3: (1) bulb such as garlic/onion; (2) root such as potato/carrot; (3) rhizome such as ginger/lotus.
 
4     Vines - Roll 1d6: (1) berry/grape; (2) melon; (3) pea/bean; (4) tomato/pepper; (5) squash/gourd; (6) flowering/leaf.
 
5     Herb - Roll 1d4: (1) basil; (2) mint; (3) rosemary; (4) lavender.
 
6-7   Flower
 
8     Grass
 
9     Cluster of shoots - Roll 1d5: (1) asparagus; (2) sansevieria; (3) reed; (4) bamboo; (5) birch.
 
10     Bush/shrub
 
11     Fruit tree
 
12     Tropical - Roll 1d4: (1) palm; (2) coconut; (3) pineapple; (4) banana.
 
13     Leafy deciduous tree - Roll 1d4: (1) permanent spring flowers; (2) permanent summer green; (3) permanent autumn colors; (4) foliage progresses each time plantient gains level.
 
14    Pine conifer
 
15    Fern
 
16    Carnivorous plant - Roll 1d2: (1) flytrap; (2) pitcher plant.
 
17     Cactus or succulent
 
18     Seaweed, sponge, or coral
   
19     Fungus - Roll 1d3: (1) mushroom; (2) toadstool; (3) morel.
 
20     Moss, wort, lichen, or mold
 
21     Multiple mutations - Roll 1d20 once on this table and 1d20 once on the Mutant Appearance table.
 
22     Multiple mutations - Roll 1d20 once on this table and 1d20 once on the Manimal Subtype table (the character is still considered a plantient).
 
23     Multiple mutations - Roll 1d20 twice on this table.
 
24     Multiple mutations - Roll 1d20 twice on this table and 1d24 once on the Mutant Appearance table.

      

GFA18 - Alternate Manimals for MCC

My fourth 2018 Gongfarmer's Almanac article is a list of alternate manimal appearances for Mutant Crawl Classics. By now, I'm sure every MCC referee has their own list of alternate manimals, but consider this my hat thrown into the ring. In my view, a good list has two characteristics - first, it's inclusive enough that no one reading it immediately thinks of an animal they want that isn't on the list (and if someone really wants a specific animal? don't make them roll, just let them have it), and second, it's exclusive enough that it doesn't include any animal that you have to look up before you're able to imagine it. Ideally the list is also weighted in some way that certain general broad types of animals more common than others (and also so that, for example, me knowing 10 times as many dog breeds as cat breeds doesn't mean that dogs are 10 times more common than cats). This is a follow-up to my own earlier post about manimals in MCC. This is also an example of me trying to apply some of the ideas in Future Evolution, so farm animals, pets, and urban pests are more prominent than animals that, say, only interact with humanity in our zoos. Keith Garrett edited all my articles about MCC for the 2018 GFA, and Karim provided all the art for this series.
   
   
Table: Manimal Body Type
Roll 1d6: (1-2) human body-plan with animal features; (3-5) human-animal hybrid or anthropomorphic animal; (6) sentient animal with roughly human-sized body, expressive face, opposable thumbs, and fine manual dexterity.
   
   
Table: Manimal Subtype (roll 1d24)
   
1     Primate - Roll 1d6: (1) gorilla; (2) chimpanzee; (3) orangutan; (4) baboon or mandrill; (5) monkey; (6) australopithecus.
   
2-3   Carnivorous mammal - Roll 1d12: (1) small-breed dog; (2) large-breed dog; (3) coyote, wild dog, or jackal; (4) fox or wolf; (5) tasmanian devil or thylacine; (6) hyena; (7) domestic cat; (8) bobcat, leopard, panther, puma, or cheetah; (9) tiger or lion; (10) ferret, weasel, or badger; (11) bear; (12) dire wolf, sabretooth tiger, or cave bear.
   
4-6   Herbivorous mammal - Roll 1d16: (1-2) cow; (3) bison, buffalo, auroch, gnu, or yak; (4-5) donkey, mule, pony, or horse; (6) zebra or giraffe; (7) pig; (8) warthog or boar; (9) sheep or goat; (10-11) deer, antelope, or gazelle; (12) elk or moose; (13) alpaca, llama, or camel; (14) hippo or rhino; (15) elephant; (16) woolly rhinoceros, woolly mammoth, or mastodon.
   
7-9   Omnivorous mammal - Roll 1d20: (1-2) mouse or rat; (3) mole; (4-5) chipmunk or squirrel; (6-7) hamster, gerbil, or guinea pig; (8) pika, marmot, capybara, or wombat; (9) beaver or otter; (10) groundhog, prairie dog, or meerkat; (11-12) rabbit; (13) kangaroo; (14-15) opossum, raccoon, or skunk; (16) red panda, tanuki, or lemur; (17) panda bear, koala bear, or sloth; (18) hedgehog or porcupine; (19) anteater, armadillo, or pangolin; (20) megatherium or glyptodon.
   
10-11   Amphibian or reptile - Roll 1d10: (1) frog or toad; (2) salamander or newt; (3) iguana or lizard; (4) gila monster, komodo dragon, or goanna; (5) gecko or chameleon; (6) turtle or tortoise; (7) snake; (8) alligator or crocodile; (9) tyrannosaurus or velociraptor; (10) brontosaurus, stegosaurus, or triceratops
   
12-14   Bird or avian - Roll 1d24: (1) chicken or turkey; (2) duck, goose, or swan; (3) pigeon; (4) canary or parakeet; (5) cockatoo, toucan, or parrot; (6) cardinal, robin, or bluejay; (7) songbird; (8) hummingbird; (9) raven or crow; (10) eagle or hawk; (11) owl; (12) condor or vulture; (13) peacock; (14) pelican, spoonbill, or stork; (15) seagull or albatross; (16) penguin; (17) puffin, auk, or dodo; (18) flamingo; (19) iris, heron, or crane; (20) ostrich or emu; (21) bat; (22) kiwi, platypus, or echidna; (23) moth; (24) pterodactyl or archaeopteryx.
   
15-17   Fish or aquatic - Roll 1d20: (1) goldfish or clownfish; (2) salmon, carp, bass, or trout; (3) catfish or plecostomus; (4) sardine or anchovy; (5) puffer or blowfish; (6) lionfish; (7) swordfish, sawfish, or hammerhead; (8) piranha or shark; (9) manta or eel; (10) porpoise or dolphin; (11) seal, manatee, or walrus; (12) whale; (13) seahorse; (14) seaslug; (15) starfish or urchin; (16) jellyfish, octopus, or squid; (17) oyster or clam; (18) lobster, crab, or shrimp; (19) handfish or coelacanth; (20) placoderm, ichthyosaur, or plesiosaur.
   
18-19   Insect - Roll 1d16: (1) flea or tick; (2) cockroach; (3) mosquito; (4) spider; (5) fly; (6) ant or termite; (7) bee or wasp; (8-9) beetle; (10) grasshopper or cricket; (11) mantis; (12) scorpion; (13) worm, snail, or slug; (14) caterpillar, centipede, or millipede; (15-16) butterfly.
   
20     Protist - Roll 1d14: (1) amoeba; (2) paramecium; (3) dinoflagellate; (4) yeast; (5) algae; (6) diatom; (7) radiolarian; (8) streptococcus; (9) staphylococcus; (10) virus; (11) bdelloid rotifer; (12) tardigrade; (13) nematode; (14) slime mold.
   
21-22   Multiple mutations - Roll 1d20 once on this table and 1d20 once on the Mutant Appearance table.
   
23     Multiple mutations - Roll 1d20 twice on this table.
   
24     Multiple mutations - Roll 1d20 twice on this table and 1d24 once on the Mutant Appearance table.

     

     

I organized these more according to bodyplan and appearance rather than actual genetic lineage, which is why dinosaurs are being counted as reptiles instead of birds, while bats are counted as birds rather than mammals.

     

Umm ... I'm preeetty sure they are ...